i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize