This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
