Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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