just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You made out with two different species that night
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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