On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
