i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize