I just saw a hot homeless man
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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