Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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