you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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