I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
