fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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