Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
