eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
