Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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