Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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