just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
