That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
