You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
