Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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