hell yes lets make some ravioli
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize