I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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