I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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