I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
