Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
