Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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