My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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