come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
