When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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