And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Please don't give away my fajitas
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
