some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
