ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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