Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
