seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
