I want to stick my p in your. b.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
