There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
