So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
