i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
His nipple licking is glorious
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