is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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