Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
