K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
