Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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