I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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