fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize