nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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