if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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