Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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