I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
