Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
