PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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