If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
and she was petting her beer can
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
