halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Randomize
