I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Green mimosas i think yes
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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