I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
