I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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