i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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