where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
