you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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