physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize