i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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