Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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