I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
