True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
