I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
