Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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