Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
