Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
