We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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