So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
