people are starting to question the shark bite story
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
