Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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