At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
