I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
